Welcome to Rick’s bakery, can I help…Wait a minute, aren’t you the famous Rock?
Yeah, The Rock, the people’s champ in the house, what’s happening Slick?
Oh God dang, how are ya doing, oh, you gotta take a picture before you leave
Woah, woah, woah, The Rock doesn’t wanna take pictures, The Rock just wants a piece of pie, have ya got any of that in this bakery?
Oh, I’ve got every kind of pie you can think of
I got strawberry pie, blueberry pie, apple pie (blueberry, what?)
No no no, woah woah woah,
Actually Slick, it doesn’t matter what type of pie you have
Let the Rock tell you a little story about pie

Driving down south, though quickly aroused
When my car caught a flat near this old farmhouse
I hope somebody’s home, taking a chance at it
Knocked on the door and this fine chick answered

You’re the Rock!
Can I use the phone?
I’m shaking
Sure, if you’ll try some of this pie I’m baking
Daisy Duke shorts on, 5 foot stood,
I said sure, what the heck, I mean it did smell good
So she called Rock in the kitchen towards the vapour
There’s a grandmother, aunt and a Chinese neighbour?

Well the Rock is gonna tell you again,
Kids, it’s tough to be the Rock
Yeah, The Rock knows that might sound crass
Oh, and by the way, all you jabronis in the locker room,
You can all come and kiss The Rock’s ass
‘Cos you know, after the Rock lays the smack down
On some big fat ugly hermaphrodite
The Rock needs a little distraction
And a slice that sounds just right.

The Rock said “Thanks ladies” and more kind words
Grandmother said “be polite, eat mine first”
So I sat down and tried hers, she looked quite glad
Had a strange taste of mold, but it wasn’t so bad
That’s right, The Rock having pie in the country
Devoured hers and aunt’s and still I was hungry
“That's all?” Rock said, bored and reading the papers
Till finally, a plate of the next door neighbour’s
Gulped it down fast, cos it really did please
I mean it tasted so good, Rock was talking Chinese
That good pie
Oh, that’s the pie you was talking about!

Oh yeah, the Rock knows the millions can smell it now
It’s tough to be The Rock,
No, no, no, no it really is
Because you all know the Rock is the most electrifying man in all of showbiz
You see, when The Rock gets too much,
Too much of the fame and all the bright lights
He loves to kick back and have a slice,
No, no, no, no, no, no
The Rock is gonna eat the whole damn pie!