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Text skladby: Ben Folds-Bizarre Christmas Incident
Ho, ho, ho, play it grandpa Yeah, play it, let's tell them a little story About what happened this Christmas Yeah, tell them, tell 'em 'bout Christmas
Christmas eve, I didn't get much sleep I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney Who could it be?
I'll tell you what it was What happened then, Ben? Yeah, what happened?
Well, I went back to sleep You went back to sleep? Back to sleep? Shit tired man, went back to sleep
And in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes A whale of a corpe with a long white beard Was dangling over the fire
Oh, Santa he's a big fat fuck Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast 'Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my ass Hey, hey, hey
Okay grandpa, step up Sing in this thing right here Tell 'em what you saw Tell 'em what you saw grandpa
I gotta tell you folks He wasn't wearin' no clothes He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil From his back down to his toes
While I was talking to the cops outside The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs They hauled him away in a double wide What a sad, sad way to die Hey, hey, hey
Santa, he's a big, fat fuck Went down the chimney, got his fat ass Oh, honey call the lawyers fast Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass
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