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Why did I stop to
Have a beer with the boys
Now my head's 'bout to pop

It's a Saturday morning confusion
If you think you can sleep, it's illusion
Cause you'll probably get a rude
Intrusion from Harry the dog

Harry the dog is as big as can be
And Harry the dog had puppies last week
We couldn't tell if it's a he
Or a she, now we know

It's a Saturday morning confusion
If I could just get to the bathroom
And get a cold rag and an aspirin
To help how I feel

But here come the twins
And they're screaming at me
What is the deal and turn off the TV
Go ask your mother and quietly
Your daddy is I'll

There he is, cousin Jack
You got the leaf rake too
Keep at it till I get it all back

Hanging round my yard
Snooping in my garage
I tolerate I'm because he's my cousin
He's nice to the kids
And Harry just loves him

It's a Saturday morning confusion
And if I could just hide in my attic
'Cause I can hear my wife yelling
Take 'em all to the show

I'll take the whole
Neighborhood to the show
I'll just walk out in back
Where the money tree grows
Grab me a handful
And off to the show we'll go

It's a Saturday morning confusion
And if I could just get a transfusion
Or maybe go hide in the bedroom
Till five o'clock

Let it be known that at five the TV
Is gonna be tuned to the game of the week
And that goes for dogs and twins
And the whole family

It's a Saturday morning confusion
It's a Saturday morning confusion
Day is done

Cousin Jack, in his yard
Cooking steaks on a grill
That I'll never get back

The twins in front of the TV
Harry with his famly
Sis on her date and Mom at the door
Smiles as she surveys the sight
For the first time today
The kingdom is quiet

Lord, let us thank you for Saturdays
And may they remain my friends

Cause I work all week long
To keep strong till they're grown
And next Saturday then
We'll do it again

Here they come, warming up
I hear the pitter patter of little
People on the living room rug

Woe is me, there goes the TV...