Do the dishes, make your bed.
You're gonna hafta go to school until you're seven-teen.
It's gonna seem about three times as long as that

You're gonna hafta go to work, go to work, go to work,
Your boss'll be a big big jerk, a big big jerk, a big big jerk,
Your boss'll be a big big jerk in all of your career

You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun.
You might have to go to war, when you get out of school.
Hey cheer up kids, it gets a lot worse.

You're gonna hafta deal with stress
Deal with stress, deal with stress.
You're gonna be a giant mess
When you get back from the war.

Santa Clause does not exist, and there's no Easter Bunny,
You'll find out when you grow up, that Big Bird isn't funny.
(funny, funny, hahahahaha!)

Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
When you grow up, when you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
It sucks pretty bad right now.

You're gonna end up smoking crack, on your back, face the fact.
You're gonna end up hooked on smack, and then you're gonna die.

And then you're gonna die-ie-ie-ie-ie.

Something for the kids,
Well, I think I smell a lawsuit in that one, What do you think?