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Is the whole night what we've got in store?
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I jizz in my pants

This really never happens, you can take my word
I won't apologize, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault for the way that you dance
And now I jizz in my pants
Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut
Plus it's your fault, you were rubbin' my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
Now I'll go home and change

I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heartbroken, not lookin' for love
Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
The checkout counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still, so did time and space
Never thought that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said "I need a friend"
She turned to me, that's when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked "Cash or credit?"
And I jizzed in my pants

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we're going to need a cleanup on aisle 3
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance
Because I jizzed in my pants
To be fair, you were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans makes me bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check

Last week I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang
And I jizzed in my pants

Speeding down the street, when the red lights flash
Need to get away, need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you
And I jizz in my pants

The next day, my alarm goes off
And I jizz in my pants

Open my window and a breeze rolls in
And I jizz in my pants

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense
I jizzed in my pants

I just ate a grape
And I jizzed in my pants

I went to. . .
Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok?

I jizz right in my pants
Every time you're next to me
And when we're holdin hands
Its like havin sex with me
You say I'm premature
I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times
Its a necessity
Cuz I jizz in my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants, yes, I jizz in my pants, yes, I jizz in my pants)
Yes I jizz in my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)