And I stayed thirty days with the jailor actin' a big shot nice man.

--- Instrumental ---

Now me and my wife's a goin' down the street
When my ole used to be I chanced to meet
She gave me the wink and my wife looked back
And boy you ought to seen me ball the jack
I run red lights turned corners and got caught just my luck.

I was down in the barnyard the other night
It was awful dark and I had no light
I scrambled around and got hold of a goose
And the folks all thought I should turn him loose
I jumped rose bushes dodged bullets and fell in the creek.

--- Instrumental ---

I was down in the barnyard on my knees
And I thought I heard a chicken sneeze
It was just an ole rooster sayin' his prayers
And givin' out a hymn to the hens upstairs
Such preachin' the hens were all singin' too
Rooster's prayin' takin' up a collection and payin' off in eggs.

--- Instrumental ---

That ole trouble sure follows me...